You’ve gotta love those ads for Viagra, Cialis and the other various and sundry pills designed to keep you going long after your natural get up and go has got up and went. I don’t know about you, but I especially love the disclosures at the end. You know, the ones they read a mile a minute so you can’t understand half of what they’re saying. Most it boils down to the fact that you’d better have medical insurance if any of the side effects get you, because some of them are a bitch.
My favorite potential side effect gives me a chuckle every time, “If you experience an erection lasting more than four hours, see a doctor immediately.”
We don’t know about you, but our immediate reaction to that kind of craziness is this: of all the people on God’s green earth that we could choose to show a four hour erection to, why would we pick our doctor? Now, maybe you have one of those sexy looking doctors like the ones on Grey’s Anatomy, but ours looks more like Doogie Howser. We tried to get a sexy doctor once, but our medical insurance wouldn’t cover it.
Don’t get us wrong, we like our doctor. And we’re usually glad he’s a guy. Frankly, we don’t want the pretty ones seeing us in some of the positions he has to put us in. It isn’t attractive. But if we’ve been blessed with a four hour erection, we have a whole lot of other people we’d rather show it to than Doogie.
Now, on a serious note, we don’t want any serious damage going on down there any more than you do. So, we’ve devised a plan. If we have to show it to Doogie after four hours, fine. Much as it pains us, and as much as we don’t really want to go over the whys and wherefores with him, it’s better than having to do without it for the rest of our lives.
So, we’re going to start showing it before the four hour point. The way we figure it, by the time an hour and a half has passed, it ought to be pretty obvious that something supernatural is going on. So, that leaves us two and a half hours to make our rounds before we have to go see Doogie. And who knows how much damage we can do in two and a half hours?
Photo via Tiagø Ribeiro
